Crazy Rich Asians features the Asian American story of Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) going with her boyfriend Nicholas Young (Henry Golding) to visit family in Singapore. In doing so, she meets many of his relatives. The good. The bad. The crazy and the rich.

This all Asian cast of Crazy Rich Asians takes a huge step in the movie industry with diversity, laughs and amazing cinematography.

Before seeing the movie I read a thread of Tweets by Kimberly Yam, and I didn’t realize so many other people had grown up feeling the way I had felt. I didn’t know that other Chinese kids also experienced having to fake laugh at a joke that offended them, and I didn’t know that this movie had as much of an impact on others as it did on me.

Upon seeing Crazy Rich Asians I was amazed by the city shots of Singapore and the acting. The cast was able to portray so many characters from party animals to gold diggers to gossips and trust fund babies.

Honestly, I cried numerous times.

Not because I was sad, but because this movie could portray so many things that I did while growing up. Like when Rachel Chu is making dumplings with Nick Young and his family. I laughed when Rachel made jokes about being the perfect Chinese daughter. I felt empowered when Rachel finally stood up for herself in front of all the other girls that judged her for being born in America, but my heart clenched when Rachel’s mother would tell Rachel that she was different because she was an ABC (American Born Chinese). That scene hit home because I’ve had that talk with my parents before. Hearing the language I grew up learning had hit a sweet spot and brought the tears. All the scenes in the movie were well put together with cinematic touches while still being super relatable for the audience. The music used were songs sung in Chinese that I had once heard in my life and it brought a feeling of content.

Crazy Rich Asians gave me something to praise and feel empowered about.

Growing up as an ABC, I experienced a lot of things that made me think “I don’t want to be Chinese anymore.” It was the times where kids in elementary school would pull back their eyelids and give racist impressions. It was when my peers would ask me where I was from but would push for a different answer when I said I was born in Omaha Neb.

It was also in high school when my friends would ask me “Are you Asian? Or Chinese?” while laughing hysterically. Being in high school I had no choice but to laugh it off so I wouldn’t seem uptight or sensitive when in reality I was thinking in the back of my mind “I don’t want to be Chinese”.

Resulting from this, I would grow up pushing away my culture in order to fit in with my peers at school who were mostly just white kids. I began cutting out my first language which was Chinese in order to perfect my English speaking skills only so my peers would not make fun of me or so my friends wouldn’t make prejudice jokes. I would start pushing away my mom’s home cooking because I wanted to eat the American food that everyone else was eating. I dressed just like everyone else because I liked the Westernized style, but also because I wanted to fit in. I wouldn’t even try and spread my culture because all the kids around me would make fun of who I was.

I grew up in a white community where the only Chinese people were the people in my family and it sucked. Once I saw this movie, I was given a feeling of belonging. And it helped me see even with my small Chinese eyes that I am proud to be Asian.

Crazy Rich Asians brought me tears laughs and inspiration while sitting in a dark room by myself with a blue raspberry ICEE.